Help the sleep-deprived student complete their tragic realization about last night's choices. Choose the grammatically correct option.

If I ________ that entire family-sized pizza at 2 AM, I ________ so incredibly sluggish right now.

The correct answer is hadn't eaten / wouldn't be.

This is a mixed conditional! The condition refers to a past, unreal action ("hadn't eaten" at 2 AM), so we use the past perfect. The result refers to the present ("wouldn't be sluggish right now"), so we use "would" + base verb.