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Choose the best words to complete the friendly alien's dating advice to its human roommate.
If I _________________________ a human like you, I _________________________ her about your weird obsession with UFOs. But I'm an alien, so what do I know?
were ... would tell
This is a classic Second Conditional scenario used for giving advice or imagining being someone else.
In formal English and hypothetical conditionals, we use the subjunctive form were for all subjects (I, he, she, it) in the if-clause. The main clause uses would + base verb (would tell) to show the hypothetical result.